You Misunderestimated Me

Jan 12, 2009

WASHINGTON - President Bush today stumbled out in front of a room full of reporters and rambled for quite awhile. It remains unclear if the President was addressing the reporters in his final official press conference or merely 'lucid' dreaming. Bush spent an appreciable amount of time making up words and alternately referring to himself in third and first person context.

While addressing the press corp Bush had this to say:

Sometimes 'they' didn't like the stories you wrote and sometimes you misunderestimated me

In a surprising move the President revealed his private battle with schizophrenia:

Never really, you know, spent that much time, frankly, worrying about the loud voices. I of course hear them, but they didn't affect my policy, nor did they affect -- affect how I made decisions.

As the seemingly infinite conference drew to a close Bush was questioned on his comprehension of the English language:

You need to ask those who -- those who used the words they used.

Bush also signified his plans for the future:

And so I wake up in Crawford Tuesday morning -- I mean, Wednesday morning, and I suspect I'll make Laura coffee and go get it for her. And it's going to be a different feeling. And I can't -- it's kind of like -- I'll report back after I feel it.

It was somewhat dificult to determine if he was going to make coffee and then go out and buy it just to show how rich he is or if he had lost his mind while in front of an audience.

Much could be said on the policies, domestic and foreign, shady business dealings, the subjective way the Constitution was viewed and the lackadaisical treatment of Rule of Law, but I cannot carry on through the tears. SSB is very well wishing of President Bush in his future career as Master Speaker of Temporal Anomalies and collecter of money. We at SSB feel that you could not have done a better job. And though it may be forward, Mr. Bush, on behalf of America and the world:

we are sorry we misunderestimated you.


Good Luck and Godspeed Mr. President. Good luck and Godspeed.

Link to Video of Speech

Copyright 2009 Solid State Brains - A. Pennington White House Press Corp