Bush Lies, Public Complains

President George Bush today lied in efforts to assuage the American taxpayers stating that "bailout could end up costing taxpayers nothing." Taxpayers complain lie was less believable than normal.

Prevarication and prestidigitation reigned in the capitol, previous to, during and following the statements of the President.

In response Andrew Schmit of Rochester NY, (Normal Person at large) had this to say:

"I'm very disappointed in Bush, y'know what I mean? The guy lies right? I mean, that's a given, everybody expects the president to lie, but I really feel like he half-assed it. I mean if you told me convincingly and in earnest that unicorns could fly, I may well be prone to believe you. I mean who am I to say that unicorns can't fly?"

The White House had no immediate comment on this article, so our correspondents went out and interviewed random people:

Mellisa Suede, Covington Ky:

"He just didn't sell me on it, look, we all bought weapons of mass destruction thing in Iraq, and sacrificing constitutional rights for Homeland security was brilliant... but he just didn't put the same effort forth here. It will definitely make me think twice before voting republican again."

Vincent Monticelli Orlando Fl:

"First off, I don't like you or your questions. Second, I voted for Ross Perot in the last 4 presidential elections."

James
Simpson, Decatur Il:

"I'll tell ya what a lying bush is... any bitch I dated between 1972 and 1985."

A.Pennington reporting, AP NEWS